Towards Him

Happiness in ME I am searching for all-the-ways
To brighten up every second of every minute of every hour of all the days
May I see He in all that is before ME
And always remember that we are humans today and tomorrow we will return to HE

May I share my happiness with each soul that crosses my way
For in each soul is He and therefore I to Him I say
Till I join hands with Thee my eternal source
Set Me straight on the righteous course
So that I journey towards Thee on a path so divine
That I metamorphosise into Thee so that there is no I, no ME, no MINE.

Simply Happy

Perhaps I wasn't clear enough
It is a happy whirling of thoughts I feel
Where my days are all colourful and chirpy
When even the smallest thing is a big big deal!!

I'm so happy that I feel I have finally reached that point
The one where life just is what it is and that's absolutely fine
All the worries of the day are of my own making
And so is the laughter I share and every positive dream is mine...

So I'm busy surrounding myself
With people who mean the world to me
To infect them with my joyful love for the days ahead
To share with them a more soulful and happier ME!

Without a Word

It's not emotion that I lack

It's a crippling disability

Oh what words should I use to describe

What feelings are whirling inside of me

Like a painter who has from his pallete

So many a colour to choose

Yet the brush cannot paint strokes of its own

Without the painter putting the colours to use

A Blank Canvas

A blank canvass stares me in the face
Beckoning me to bring it to life
To colour it with my words
To bring it out of its lonely strife.

For once my selfless friend
Is askin me for a favour you see
Yet, I feel I dont have a thing to share?
Is this how selfish I can be?

No - so here I am painting this canvas
Injecting into it the energy I have in me
By spreading words across its page
I feel liberated, I feel free.

Yet what does my painting say?
It's a picture of words but one with words so empty
That all I have expressed is a blank
Would you care to fill it in for me?

For You

A companion every step of the way
I confide my thoughts to you each and everyday
A humble yet energy-filled confidante
What more could anyone want?

Each day I run to you
To spill my thoughts of the day all through
Excitedly I share the things that sent me high and low
Drawing strength from your companionship to ignore worry and woe

From you I draw an immense positive energy
Which brightens me up and makes me smile with glee
I look so forward to my day's end
Till the moment when I can rush to confide in you, my friend :).

A Reflection

Why is it that you ask me questions
That you claim to know the answers to?
Is it because it's your way of showing
That the same questions have puzzled you too?


Or is it because I wholeheartedly but most naívely
Believe there is a good in all that tends to happen?
So I lay my trust upon everyone as though it were me I were trusting
And leave everyone out there watching me, and silently laughing?


Why is it that some thoughts strike harder than others
Yet, you are left with no words nor will to say what you must
I know that when I write and speak, I don't leave messages in vain
But your silence turns my words into letters and my thoughts into dust.


Yet I expect nothing and know not what I do or why
Why is it that yet you question why I do things and subtly turn a blind eye?
It is only when you ask me why, that I question myself too.
Then it hits me, that above all else, I promised a good friend to you.


Unanswered questions may cut my soul, like painfully bleeding fingers
But touching thoughts transcend time, as loving laughter lingers.
And so I am who I declare myself to be - ME
Happy and content with what I do and feel, difficult though it may be.


I rise to the challenge and surpass all tests of pain
For I see that sorrow is not the end; the bleeding is not in vain
I am stronger now, happier too I believe
Grateful for every test that teaches to sing when you’re down and laugh while you grieve.


Perhaps life's irony might furnish me with the answers I silently seek
I look on ahead at the scorched paths ahead but what I see is unique.
I see not the dark doom that so many draw misery from each day and sigh
I see not the dead flowers and impending doom and ask the oft-asked question 'why?'


I see in the grey skies a lingering white light, its presence subtle, but sharp
But is it really there or do I mistakenly search for hope in God's deadly work of art?
No. I know I see it and albeit concealed amidst the grey skies selfishly slicing this light,
Its torch is so powerful, its aura so strong, it injects in me the spirit to fight.


And so my search for truth continues; can Truth really exist on this plain?
Or is this world as deadly as it appears where dreams are raped and true love is slain?
I hold my light close to my heart as I pray eagerly that my love and happiness infects all
May my words soothe souls, and actions kindle happy hearts as I yield to love’s call.

Despair

Despaired by my own thoughts
I stand isolated and alone
Reaching out to hear the voice of my beloved;
But saddened as I hear none but my own.

Confused and broken; in pieces I lay
Shattered and torn apart
Not knowing how or where to go;
Whether or not to bare my heart

A single teardrop rolls down
Carrying with it a burden; a load
A river of hidden emotions
That remain suppressed and untold

Lest this pain lasts forever
And disharmony in my heart forever prevails
Each word you say pierces my heart
And each sigh tells its own tales

But for now let this chapter be closed
Until another storm strikes again
Till then let these feelings be harboured
In this poem; a beautiful friend.

Monday, 17th March, 1997