I'm a Nobody

Does it matter who I am?
Or whether I exist?
Sometimes I melt into nothingness
And there's no trace of me...
Unless you really care to know
Where I am and how I'm doing.

Is it a facade?
An act put up to seek attention?
Nah - it's not attention that I crave.
Just someone who genuinely cares for me.
Someone who sincerely understands me.
As opposed to friends who drop in and out of my life.

But perhaps - I ask too much.
In recent years, I've tried not to expect anything.
It's been extremely difficult. Almost impossible.
And I haven't always succeeded.
But I can honestly say that I've sincerely tried to keep my expectations to a minimum.

Empty though. Just when I think I've worked things out...
It appears like I've got it all wrong.
Back to the drawing board princessse. This ain't it.
It's something else. It takes something else to keep a friend in life.
It takes more than minimal expectations.
More than love, genuineness, sincerity, understanding, a happy healthy friendship, honesty, and all those intricate ingredients that our closest relationships deserve.

But alas - there's no such thing as common courtesy.
No such thing as 'human' or empathy.
No such thing as concern for anyone other than oneself.
No worry in the world that our actions may have hurt someone else's feelings.
There's only ONE thing that the world understands universally.
ME.

It's a Shallow. Hollow. Empty feeling.

I've failed.

A dot is all I am.

.

Unless....