Mirror or Mirage?

A journey in self-discovery about me... about life...about what it means to be... what it means to be happy... and what it means to be alive. Are we really living our lives? Come and explore - reality awaits.

13 October 2005

Ouch

A silent communication exists between us
Sometimes, we want to be in touch
But words are lost ... lost in the myriad maze of our minds
Thoughts are lost in the dark dungeons of distance

I no longer exist
But . . . they still exist...
Thoughts... memories...
Leave... please

I dont want them
I want peace
I know....
They continue to tease

Mocking me
Piercing me
I dont know why
Please, let's say goodbye?

Come Tomorrow...
I embrace you
Now, begone
Be banished forever
In the deep forests of wherever

Far...where I dont even know of your existence
So that I cannot fathom where you might be
Better than knowing but not knowing
Better than not seeing yet seeing what I'm not supposed to see.

posted by Princessse @ 9:52 pm  

28 comments:

  • At 2:52 am, Blogger Anshul said…

    Sometimes its just hard to let go.

     

  • At 10:26 am, Blogger Casablanca said…

    How I yearn for peace... how I wish my mind would stop thinking. Just once in a while atleast. Is that too much to ask?

     

  • At 11:38 am, Blogger Princessse said…

    @Anshul

    Not so much about letting go...but more sorta like some things just forever stick around in the deep tresses of my memory and I don't know they're even there most of the time, but sometimes, they lurk about in shadows in the present... and I don't like it ... sigh...

    @casa

    Appears that it is too much to ask... a monkey-mind being made to rest... only one thing can train this mind methinks. Meditation. If only it were easy!

     

  • At 7:29 pm, Blogger Subhrajyoti Mukhopadhyay said…

    wonderful !

     

  • At 5:10 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    seems like some guilty feeling deep down

    ask yourself
    or are u too stubborn?

     

  • At 11:54 pm, Blogger Princessse said…

    @Euphoric Dreamz

    Thanks! :)

    @Anonymous

    No guilt here... Just a feeling of live and let live. I'm not unhappy or guilty about anything. Life sometimes just is what it is ... but there's just a point sometimes in life where you want to erase things from your permanent hard drive ... because those moments simply don't exist in the present... not for any ill-feeling or anything like that... but rather just because they don't belong :)... that's all...

     

  • At 2:03 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    all i know is that such feelings stay cuz u did something unfair...
    probably u broke a heart or two and ot hurt in the process

    i just want you to know that u r a good person and u did have a lot of good impact on ppl (1 or more) whose memories u cant stand now...

    so dont try to erase...
    be at peace
    she cared for u then when u cared for her
    before u became too selfish
    but then again...
    u always believed in being selfish (copied the phsycology from a TV sitcom)
    :)
    no more comments from my side

     

  • At 2:28 pm, Blogger Princessse said…

    @anonymous,

    Perhaps that's your own experience of why these feelings exist. It's certainly not the case with respect to this post or what I was feeling at the time I wrote it.

    This was written around 3 years ago. So each piece of writing is contextual I feel, and needs to be appreciated in the abstract (by readers) or in context (by me when I re-read in light of the circumstances).

    With respect to broken hearts / me being a good person, seems that you think you have some first-hand knowledge about me. Perhaps you do. But I'd appreciate if that personal discussion didn't carry itself over to this blog. If I wanted to discuss my personal life, I would. But for the moment, my blog does not discuss personal events as such.

    Finally, it's not that I can't 'stand' memories... there's no particular 'set' of memories or anything that I want to erase or anything like that. This poem was my way of telling myself to be forward-looking. And sometimes, the best way to be forward looking is to eliminate those things which don't belong. Of course, it's artificial to assume that you can erase memories completely. Such is the nature of the human mind. Whatever wants to stay, just stays. Often, you can't wilfully erase things, because the more you try to do that, the more those thigns will stick around!!! :)

    My post was more a trip down memory lane... reading a poem from my past and my attempt to contextualise it in my present and future.

    Interesting quote from TV sitcom. Which show was it from?

     

  • At 3:14 pm, Blogger Casablanca said…

    Hey, It'll be great to meet up. I'm in HK for another few months...

    Do we know each other btw? Ok, dumb question :p
    I'll email you in some time :)

     

  • At 3:25 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    RfAhBiIuA

     

  • At 3:18 pm, Blogger Canary said…

    just dropped by schmoozing thru some other blogs, cool blog, u write well, must say.. :)

     

  • At 1:38 pm, Blogger Rohan Kumar said…

    Here via casa's blog, very beautifully composed piece

     

  • At 12:20 am, Blogger Princessse said…

    @aastha,
    Welcome and thanks for dropping by and more importantly, for your comment! :) Hope to see you around

    @rohan,
    if you were coming from anywhere else, I'd have taken that compliment happily. But i think with Casa's style of writing and her brilliant twists in poetry, i think my poetry leaves much to be desired na? :) thanks for dropping by and commenting. Do drop by again! :)

     

  • At 12:35 am, Blogger Casablanca said…

    Ok ok.. with that kind of compliments, I might find it hard to ground my feet girl :)

    Reply to my email btw...

     

  • At 2:51 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    very touchy
    sounds a lil desparate though

    and reminds me that i do have a silent communication with some ppl where words are lost in the myriad maze of our minds

     

  • At 8:32 pm, Blogger R said…

    sounds like a lot of hurt

     

  • At 12:06 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Meena jee , aajkal shooting bott jyada chal rahee hai kya ? kuch post kieejiye na , bhagwan aapki movie ko silver jubilee karayega.

     

  • At 9:38 pm, Blogger Princessse said…

    Abhinav jee,

    Nahin, shooting ziaada nahin chal rahee hain. Darassal, flu naam ki ek chidiyaa hai, usne mujhe pakkar ke rakha hai. Kambakht, chodne ka naam hi nahin leyti. Kabse uske chakkar mein hoon. Kuchh karo na. Ek badiyaa saa post likhdo! :)

    ~ meena

     

  • At 12:21 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Arre Meena jee ,
    You are down with flu ? i had no clue ( Hey , that rhymed ).

    Tabhi Dilip Sahab kal keh rahe the ,"Aye Bhaii ,koi zara hume Hanuman jee ke jaane wali bus ka number bata do.Hum jaakar meena jee ke liye dua karenge." Ajee Dilip Kumar , wahi apne original devdaas.

    Anyways , fevicol is the best glue , i wish u get over this flu.( arre yaar , aur kuch rhyme nai ho raha tha ).

    ps - I read aapka reply yesterday.And been feeling so guilty about not not having posted , I am almost roasted in 'pashchataap ki jwala'.I dnt want to tire people who check my blog and find no new posts , and least of all an unwell meena jee.get well soon:)

     

  • At 12:23 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hanuman Jee ke mandir jaane wali*

    ~careless is my middle name

     

  • At 2:29 pm, Blogger virdi said…

    update update update... popular demand...

     

  • At 7:07 pm, Blogger Devilish Angel said…

    good poem...

     

  • At 2:21 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Life is full of stuff that you might think as 'OUT OF PLACE'
    but mohgt not be the real case!

    your poem suggests that you dont want some memories and wanna forget...
    y?
    learn to live with them and smile...
    and get over with this flu thing..
    Get well soon

     

  • At 11:07 pm, Blogger Princessse said…

    @abhinav,

    Aap ki duaaein aur naya post rang laayee... flu ne kahaa byee byeeeee :) shukriyaaa!!

    @vanathi

    Thanks!! :)

    @Koi pahailee

    Ever had the feeling of restlessness for a short period during the day? When you just want peace of mind and tranquillity? This was my state of mind when I wrote this poem - I wanted nothing to pervade my space. NOTHING.

    But of course, because we are survivors we learn to live with everything. And I'm learning to live with everything very happily, too. So I'm glad. :)

    Re: the flu - it's gone!

     

  • At 11:09 pm, Blogger Princessse said…

    @virdi bhai - likhnaa chaahun ... lekin kya likhoon? Filhaal dimaag khaali hai. Ek kaam keejiye. Aap likho, aur humein email karo - Hum post kardeynge ji ;) I'm sure BOHUT saare comments milenge!! :P

    On a more serious note, will write soon. Jus waiting for the 'maal' to hit me.

     

  • At 10:31 pm, Blogger Illusionary said…

    u wrote this??its really nice..i like the way u put your thoughts.

     

  • At 11:37 pm, Blogger Princessse said…

    @Illusory,
    Welcome and thanks for your comment! Glad you liked the poem. I checked out your space and was most intrigued to find hitler :P so I set out in search of my own 'famous leader' personality and lo and behold... i wonder if it's as untrue as yours most likely is!!! :)

     

  • At 11:47 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    yeah same here...
    and we are far...where i really dont know of your existence

     

Post a Comment

<< Home